Happy little bluebirds fly over the rainbow.
Oh why?
Why can't I?
Truly longing for that place I heard once in a lullaby.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Monday, March 8, 2010
What I [Don't] Offer
Background
Whatever advice I may offer in the religious realms is usually of a logical nature. I can talk about my experiences, but never in a million years would I ever have the ability to relay a direct sense of faith.
In the lowest of my lows, I was often provided with lines of comfort such as "God is always with you" and "God loves you no matter what". They are very thoughtful, and I could not be more appreciative of such gentle gestures. However, they often fail to provide a sense of comfort that I can grasp. I enjoy the niceties of such statements but fail at being able to be comforted by them. Why? Because I often question how we can come to truly believe in these things we say; I often question whether or not I believe in the truths of what we say.
I, too, have offered these lines countless times without believing in them. I do not view this as a negative action, but perhaps as a necessary evil. Can I stand by and watch someone fall so far away from grace? By academic understanding and logical consistencies I believe that my faith is an extremely plausible path. However, I have not yet been blessed with sort of a revelation that would serve as my "leap of faith". Conclusively, I believe and I also do not believe.
I was asked a question, or I suppose it was more of a discussion, regarding the nature of God's love and how we can "feel" God's love. Because of this question, I was able to confess the truths of my faith. And I wish to share this confession with you, my non-existent readers, simply because I want to.
Conclusion
I am a selfish human being, like we all are. Furthermore, I am perhaps even a little more selfish than what our nature drives us to be. And so herein lies an interesting observation; I can still sometimes be nice. What drives me to these actions? I tell you honestly, I hold no second motives behind what I do. There's something that drives me to want to care about you and love you, but I'm not sure what it is. I can't put it into words and I'm not even sure how I could begin to describe myself in this aspect.
So I offer a little piece of proof in the existence of a higher being, a being who makes me want to love you and care about you no matter who you are (at least most of the time). I offer every one of my actions that is socially definable as "nice" as not of my own accord, but as the design of a godly being who placed it upon my heart to act that way. I will take no credit for my actions that may make positive reflections in your life but I will take all the blame in areas where I fail.
It sounds like I'm taking the easy way out, right? Saying that whatever good things I do is from God and that every bad thing is simply from my own selfish nature? But this is true. . . I have the Holy Spirit of my God inside of me seeking to guide my actions towards a righteous path all the while my close-yet-far-from-God nature of humanity seeking to wreck havoc and chaos (okay, a little exaggerated) in this world.
But yeah, if I care about you, it's because there's Someone that cares about you. Personally, I believe that Someone to be the God of my Christian faith. Whatever you believe this Someone, Something, etc to be that drives me to love you, the point to be said at the end of all this is that you are never alone.
Whatever advice I may offer in the religious realms is usually of a logical nature. I can talk about my experiences, but never in a million years would I ever have the ability to relay a direct sense of faith.
In the lowest of my lows, I was often provided with lines of comfort such as "God is always with you" and "God loves you no matter what". They are very thoughtful, and I could not be more appreciative of such gentle gestures. However, they often fail to provide a sense of comfort that I can grasp. I enjoy the niceties of such statements but fail at being able to be comforted by them. Why? Because I often question how we can come to truly believe in these things we say; I often question whether or not I believe in the truths of what we say.
I, too, have offered these lines countless times without believing in them. I do not view this as a negative action, but perhaps as a necessary evil. Can I stand by and watch someone fall so far away from grace? By academic understanding and logical consistencies I believe that my faith is an extremely plausible path. However, I have not yet been blessed with sort of a revelation that would serve as my "leap of faith". Conclusively, I believe and I also do not believe.
I was asked a question, or I suppose it was more of a discussion, regarding the nature of God's love and how we can "feel" God's love. Because of this question, I was able to confess the truths of my faith. And I wish to share this confession with you, my non-existent readers, simply because I want to.
Conclusion
I am a selfish human being, like we all are. Furthermore, I am perhaps even a little more selfish than what our nature drives us to be. And so herein lies an interesting observation; I can still sometimes be nice. What drives me to these actions? I tell you honestly, I hold no second motives behind what I do. There's something that drives me to want to care about you and love you, but I'm not sure what it is. I can't put it into words and I'm not even sure how I could begin to describe myself in this aspect.
So I offer a little piece of proof in the existence of a higher being, a being who makes me want to love you and care about you no matter who you are (at least most of the time). I offer every one of my actions that is socially definable as "nice" as not of my own accord, but as the design of a godly being who placed it upon my heart to act that way. I will take no credit for my actions that may make positive reflections in your life but I will take all the blame in areas where I fail.
It sounds like I'm taking the easy way out, right? Saying that whatever good things I do is from God and that every bad thing is simply from my own selfish nature? But this is true. . . I have the Holy Spirit of my God inside of me seeking to guide my actions towards a righteous path all the while my close-yet-far-from-God nature of humanity seeking to wreck havoc and chaos (okay, a little exaggerated) in this world.
But yeah, if I care about you, it's because there's Someone that cares about you. Personally, I believe that Someone to be the God of my Christian faith. Whatever you believe this Someone, Something, etc to be that drives me to love you, the point to be said at the end of all this is that you are never alone.
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