God gives and He takes and it's supposed to make us stronger but I feel like our minds aren't able to comprehend the complexity of God's plans a lot of times. The complexity sort of resolves itself in that every time the world fails us and appears helpless, the hope we have in God and our beliefs become more apparent. But what if our eyes, our minds and our hearts become so oblivious to this 'truth' of God that we dwell in the worldly sorrows? Detachment grows and eventually develops into complete apathy; you lose love.
But... I like to love. I like to give and I want to help. I know... Well, I don't know for sure, but I truly believe that God would want me to pursue a life of giving and caring. But why does it sometimes feel like I'm fighting against fate? Why does it feel like I'm fighting God? Most people would tell me that maybe I'm not pursuing the right paths. But really, pursuit of happiness for others is something God wouldn't want? It's a battle to give up selfishness and be a person that loves genuinely. Because at every turn, the world's throwing crap to stop you from getting there; the obstacles and pressures get bigger and bigger.
Maybe I've grown bitter to feeling helpless (starving children? sad people? what shall we do?). It's quite a frightening thought actually, being bitter and apathetic I mean. I think it'd be the equivalent to walking through a wall of fire not knowing that my entire being is being disintegrated.
But I guess I am at least aware of the fact that I'm walking through fire; I know I'm not alright. The hardest part for me at the moment is trying to recognize what I need to do and to be able to follow God's will. I feel like God's trying to reach out to me by pointing me towards somewhere while I'm blindfolded and it's not possible for me to see what he wants. So I really hope that He tries calling out directions or something, haha.
P.S. Random title. :]
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment